oh HELL yea.... WOO

somebody's about to poop red tomorrow!

i made this good stuff today....

one beet cut into cutesy pieces
one onion cut into adorable slices
saute that shit. be fancy, use coconut oil

 add some kale cut into pretty strips
the rice that you cooked yesterday
some salt
motherfuckin almonds sorta chopped
and some garlicy goat farmer cheese
(farmer cheese is the kind that doesn't melt, like the kind that's in indian food.... it's made by curdling milk, usually w. vinegar or lemon juice, adding salt and herbs, and pressing the curds overnight to make cheesechunks. you can get a recipe online to make it, or you can get some from my neighbor that's supadupafuckin awesome.)

don't gulp water after you eat, it'll give you the farts.

also, i made shweet sammy snacks today, real easy ones:

toasted rosemary bread

blueberry jam

sliced turkey

cream cheese 

(shut the fuck up, kerrin, you know it's awesome)

toasted rosemary bread

i think it would be better w. raspberry jelly. anyway it was interesting and good. i'm not high fwiw.

juice

i make this juice that is mighty tasty.
You do need a juicer for this.....
and for your "juiceman jr. lifestyle."
 well then>>>>>

Amazing Juice
I use:
1 small beet or a 1/2 of a big one
2 apples
2 pears
one good chuck of ginger
4 carrots
cucumber (or half of one is fine too)


drink up!

challah!

oh HELL yeah.

 this dough works best as an overnighter, start it an hour or so before you go to bed, and plan to bake in the morning.

i'll assume you don't have a sweet kitchenaid mixer with a dough hook and you're about to make sweet love to the dough in the old fashioned way.

get a big ol' bowl and put in:
1 package yeast (that's 2 1/2 tsp)
1/2 c warm water

when you can see that the yeast is partying (it'll be a little bubbly, takes like 2 min)
add:
1/2 cup all purpose flour
(i like to use white whole wheat, this dough doesn't rise well when you try to make it w. regular whole wheat)
2 eggs
2 egg yolks (hang on to the whites for meringue!!!! recipe soon! did i spell it right?)
3 tbs oil
3 tbs honey or sugar
1 1/4 tsp salt

i like to use Spatchy Spatcherton the Wonder Spatula for this job, he is a high quality rubber spatula that i got for my birthday, and he is red and very charming. mix it until it's all smooth kinda like cake batter, and then  gradually stir in:

2 1/2 c. bread flour
(usually i just use more white whole wheat. i'm having an affair with king arthur and his flour)

at some point, Spatchy gets jettisoned and you use your hands and start kneading. don't add more flour if it's too sticky, just wet your hands and keep at it.  in about ten minutes you'll have the softest nicest dough ever, all ready to go into an oiled bowl and be covered with plastic.

let rise until doubled, (you know dough is done rising when you poke it and your finger hole stays put and doesn't fill back in. dont let dough over rise or the gluten strands will break and you'll be gnawing on some tough shit that barely rose when you baked it)

then punch it down (you dont have to be a ninja, just squish it so it farts out the extra gas)
and put it in the fridge overnight or for at least four hours to rise again. make sure it's covered well and has room to expand a lot.

in the morning after you eat toast and tea, get out your dough lump. perty, aint it?

divide into three or four lumps, depending on what kind of braiding skills you have, and make three or four snakes, whatever you can handle, or makes you feel happy, or works with your daily numerology better.

roll your snakes in flour and braid em, put them on a greased, cornmeal sprinkled cookie sheet,  and brush w.
 1 egg
a pinch of salt
and cover w. the greasy plastic wrap you let it rise under before, until it's proofed. (which means poofed)

preheat oven to 375
brush your loavys w. more of the salty egg right before you put 'em in, and maybe put some sesame seeds on it too if you're fancy.

bake until nice and goldy brown, and they sound super hollow when you tap on the bottoms. they only take about 30 minutes to bake and OMFG best yummy snack ever w. butter and A MAZE ING TOAST and french toast if you let it get stale but it never lasts that long.

i was born and raised in south jersey

what i cooked today.

i have this job. i am very thankful for this job.
part of this job is cooking.
and here is what i cooked today.
*curried sticky potatoes (vegan)
(i think i posted this one)
*tzatziki (cow)
*hummus (vegan)
*spiced walnuts, pecans, cashews, almonds (vegan)
*phyllo puffs stuffed with mushrooms, bacon, and cheese. could be vegan!!!

ok so i am going to give out my extremely awesome recipe for hummus.
1 can of chic peas
2 tsp of tahini
juice of 1-1 1/2 lemons
12 kalamata olives diced
scant 1/4 cup organic olive oil
2 cloves of crushed garlic
large pinch of cumin
black pepper
1 tsp of good gray or pink salt
chives cut into tiny mini pieces
2 tablespoons pine nuts

%%%%put all the ingredients into a food processor. except the pine nuts!
process that shit! stir in the pine nuts.
*******if it needs more liquid add a tablespoon of water. and then maybe one more tablespoon.

we will get to pizza later...

fired up! i just went to this extremely good dinner. i drank good wine. ate amazing greek food. and talked loudly with a wine glass in my hand.
the place is called "Kanella" it is in Philadelphia. 10th and Spruce. our waiter went by the name of Bobby. He was articulate and an awesome server. while i was enjoying my veal dinner i never got the feeling that i could have made it better. and the dessert! i totally ate some eggy, custard pile with phyllo on top. it was perfect. not too sweet. and the coffee came out in a french press.

ode to the atomic eggplant!

so there was this restaurant called the atomic eggplant. it had great veggie and vegan food. then they closed.
but i do remember this recipe and i may have changed it a bit.

sweet potato blackberry quesadilla

you will need.
whole wheat tortillas
sweet potatoes
blackberries cut into pieces
cheese if you want. when i used to make these with cheese i used sharp vermont chedder stuff.
dried ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, salt
earthbalance or butter or oil


boil or bake the sweet potato (yams work too)
when they are soft take them out of their skins and put in a bowl. mash with earthbalace....1 tablespoon or more. depending on the tater size.
add a pinch of dried ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, salt.
taste. adjust seasonings.
fire up the skillet! when it is hot...
put a whole wheat tortilla down, spread the sweet potato mash on half and drop a few blackberry chunks and cheese if that's what your into. fold over the tortilla and flip. get both sides brown and crispy. they are done at this point.
you should cut them up and eat them.
you could dip them in sour cream. i'll watch ya.