miso soup

This is a staple in my diet.

Miso=Long Life

dude this shit rules. really good for you. and really easy to make.
ok so you will need:
your favorite brand and variety of miso (i really like the white miso)
shitake mushrooms (cut up with stems)
green onions
clove or two of garlic
ginger grated
nori, or spinach, or something green and leafy....lettuce works too. cut this up in tiny soup pieces.
soy sauce of some kind to taste
sesame oil a dash or so
chili or cayenne pepper to taste
rice noodles (i get the thicker pad thai noodles and break them up into little pieces)


alright so this is how it will go down:
fill a medium pot with water and throw in the mushrooms, garlic, ginger, chilli
let this come to a boil and make a slight stock 10 min simmer.
then add soy sause to taste, green onions, rice noodles, nori pieces, spinach, a dash of sesame oil
turn off heat. let this sit for a minute.


in a small cup of water add a scoop of miso and stir until it dissolves. then add this to the soup. 
*don't boil the miso*
adjust the seasonings. i like a lot of miso and you can use a lot of the white miso cause it has such a mellow mood to it.  
check the noodles in the soup, they will soften quickly and when they are soft this soup is ready to serve. 


enjoy.






 

I'm back bitches!

Holy shit I was on the road!

eating a lot of eggs, kraftsingles, and sometimes paying way too much for a meal that I could have made better. i had a great time.

I drank a lot of coffee.
and thought of my beloved blog i have with wendy.

ok well here is a recipe for ya.


Mango Sticky Rice

yeah that's right
so simple so wonderful
angel food


you will need:

2

tablespoons

sugar

1

cup

sticky rice (sushi rice)

2

pinches

salt

1

cup

coconut milk

1 ripe mango
cheese cloth

soak the rice in a bowl-  over night if you can. or for at least 6 hours.
drain the rice and wrap it in cheese cloth, then tie it off. or put cheese cloth on the whole steamer basket and steam the rice atop of that. (does this make sense)
any how steam the rice. so many fucking ways to do it.
while the rice is steaming. about 20 min. get a small pot on the stove and put the coconut milk in it, mix in the salt and sugar, bring to a simmer. stir and turn off the heat.
the rice will appear clear when it is done....or you can try it.

now for the freaking awesome part!!!!!!!!
unwrap the rice or get the rice off the cheese cloth
put in a bowl and dump half the coconut milk on it. the rice will absorb it.
cut up the mango, put that on top. maybe a tiny dash sprinkle of cinnamon.
and then drizzle some more coconut milk.
need i say more?

TURKEY TIME!!!

well, sorry to Kerrin if you're trying to impress hot vegans with our healthful food blog, but it's freakin turkey season, and i just ate a dank turkey sandwich.

for a good time, do this with your leftovers:

put the leftover turkey gravy in a pot, and dont skimp on the gross/ awesome congealed fat floating in there.
add some ripped up bits of turkey and stir that shit till its all warm and gooey.
slice up a green apple
and make some motherfuckin toast

here's the sammy:

toast!

raspberry jelly

sliced green apple

turkey gravy gooey gooey goodness  

toast!

yea and it's awesome awesome awesome awesome. if i had leftover cranberry sauce, i'd use that instead of the jelly.

not to toot my own horn too much, but isn't my kid CUTE!?!?!?!

posting from the road

i am on the go....and moving on.
busted heart and eating well....except the fancy coffee.
singing songs
in portland.

wonder what i will post next

love ya

curry curry curry

I have been eating a lot of curry. o geez.
Vegan
easy breezy.....and you will love it.
there are a lot of ingredients.

you will need:

3-4 tablespoons of oil.....not olive, you will need one that has a higher flash point. (coconut)
2 cans of coconut milk
2 cloves of garlic
1 med onion
3 green onions cut into tiny pieces
1 head of broc
3 carrots
hand full of mushrooms. your choice.
1 pound of chicken (i like to use boneless skinless thighs) cut in squares, or one block of tempeh
1 zucchini
bunch of cilantro (as much as you can handle) stemmed and rough chop
1 lime
2 tablespoons of curry paste (red)
3-5 tablespoons of shoyu or soy sauce
1 chili (take out the seeds) *unless you like this dish hot hot hot****** minced into tiny tiny pieces.
chunk of ginger 1/2 inch
*coriander
*cumin
*tumeric
*curry powder
*paprika
*cinnamon
brown rice, or brown rice noodles cooked.

how you use it all:

make brown rice or soak brown rice noodles
if you do the noodles you can fry them and make them crispy after they have soaked for an hour or so.

oil in wok or large pot.
get oil hot and add a pinch of each spice that has a * and the chili.
saute the spices for a minute or two....be careful not to burn, if you need you can add a couple of tablespoons of water.
add the garlic, ginger and onion. saute until soft then add chicken and saute until cooked.
then add both cans of coconut milk and the curry paste. adjust the spices.
add the shoyu. and taste again.
let the broth come to a boil then simmer for 20min or longer. add the veggies.  hold off on the green onions and cilantro, and when the veggies are done you can add the green onions and cilantro raw. fold them in. squeeze the lime over it all. add more shoyu if you need.

at this point you can let it sit until you can eat it and serve it up with the rice.

enjoy.

oh HELL yea.... WOO

somebody's about to poop red tomorrow!

i made this good stuff today....

one beet cut into cutesy pieces
one onion cut into adorable slices
saute that shit. be fancy, use coconut oil

 add some kale cut into pretty strips
the rice that you cooked yesterday
some salt
motherfuckin almonds sorta chopped
and some garlicy goat farmer cheese
(farmer cheese is the kind that doesn't melt, like the kind that's in indian food.... it's made by curdling milk, usually w. vinegar or lemon juice, adding salt and herbs, and pressing the curds overnight to make cheesechunks. you can get a recipe online to make it, or you can get some from my neighbor that's supadupafuckin awesome.)

don't gulp water after you eat, it'll give you the farts.

also, i made shweet sammy snacks today, real easy ones:

toasted rosemary bread

blueberry jam

sliced turkey

cream cheese 

(shut the fuck up, kerrin, you know it's awesome)

toasted rosemary bread

i think it would be better w. raspberry jelly. anyway it was interesting and good. i'm not high fwiw.

juice

i make this juice that is mighty tasty.
You do need a juicer for this.....
and for your "juiceman jr. lifestyle."
 well then>>>>>

Amazing Juice
I use:
1 small beet or a 1/2 of a big one
2 apples
2 pears
one good chuck of ginger
4 carrots
cucumber (or half of one is fine too)


drink up!

challah!

oh HELL yeah.

 this dough works best as an overnighter, start it an hour or so before you go to bed, and plan to bake in the morning.

i'll assume you don't have a sweet kitchenaid mixer with a dough hook and you're about to make sweet love to the dough in the old fashioned way.

get a big ol' bowl and put in:
1 package yeast (that's 2 1/2 tsp)
1/2 c warm water

when you can see that the yeast is partying (it'll be a little bubbly, takes like 2 min)
add:
1/2 cup all purpose flour
(i like to use white whole wheat, this dough doesn't rise well when you try to make it w. regular whole wheat)
2 eggs
2 egg yolks (hang on to the whites for meringue!!!! recipe soon! did i spell it right?)
3 tbs oil
3 tbs honey or sugar
1 1/4 tsp salt

i like to use Spatchy Spatcherton the Wonder Spatula for this job, he is a high quality rubber spatula that i got for my birthday, and he is red and very charming. mix it until it's all smooth kinda like cake batter, and then  gradually stir in:

2 1/2 c. bread flour
(usually i just use more white whole wheat. i'm having an affair with king arthur and his flour)

at some point, Spatchy gets jettisoned and you use your hands and start kneading. don't add more flour if it's too sticky, just wet your hands and keep at it.  in about ten minutes you'll have the softest nicest dough ever, all ready to go into an oiled bowl and be covered with plastic.

let rise until doubled, (you know dough is done rising when you poke it and your finger hole stays put and doesn't fill back in. dont let dough over rise or the gluten strands will break and you'll be gnawing on some tough shit that barely rose when you baked it)

then punch it down (you dont have to be a ninja, just squish it so it farts out the extra gas)
and put it in the fridge overnight or for at least four hours to rise again. make sure it's covered well and has room to expand a lot.

in the morning after you eat toast and tea, get out your dough lump. perty, aint it?

divide into three or four lumps, depending on what kind of braiding skills you have, and make three or four snakes, whatever you can handle, or makes you feel happy, or works with your daily numerology better.

roll your snakes in flour and braid em, put them on a greased, cornmeal sprinkled cookie sheet,  and brush w.
 1 egg
a pinch of salt
and cover w. the greasy plastic wrap you let it rise under before, until it's proofed. (which means poofed)

preheat oven to 375
brush your loavys w. more of the salty egg right before you put 'em in, and maybe put some sesame seeds on it too if you're fancy.

bake until nice and goldy brown, and they sound super hollow when you tap on the bottoms. they only take about 30 minutes to bake and OMFG best yummy snack ever w. butter and A MAZE ING TOAST and french toast if you let it get stale but it never lasts that long.

i was born and raised in south jersey

what i cooked today.

i have this job. i am very thankful for this job.
part of this job is cooking.
and here is what i cooked today.
*curried sticky potatoes (vegan)
(i think i posted this one)
*tzatziki (cow)
*hummus (vegan)
*spiced walnuts, pecans, cashews, almonds (vegan)
*phyllo puffs stuffed with mushrooms, bacon, and cheese. could be vegan!!!

ok so i am going to give out my extremely awesome recipe for hummus.
1 can of chic peas
2 tsp of tahini
juice of 1-1 1/2 lemons
12 kalamata olives diced
scant 1/4 cup organic olive oil
2 cloves of crushed garlic
large pinch of cumin
black pepper
1 tsp of good gray or pink salt
chives cut into tiny mini pieces
2 tablespoons pine nuts

%%%%put all the ingredients into a food processor. except the pine nuts!
process that shit! stir in the pine nuts.
*******if it needs more liquid add a tablespoon of water. and then maybe one more tablespoon.

we will get to pizza later...

fired up! i just went to this extremely good dinner. i drank good wine. ate amazing greek food. and talked loudly with a wine glass in my hand.
the place is called "Kanella" it is in Philadelphia. 10th and Spruce. our waiter went by the name of Bobby. He was articulate and an awesome server. while i was enjoying my veal dinner i never got the feeling that i could have made it better. and the dessert! i totally ate some eggy, custard pile with phyllo on top. it was perfect. not too sweet. and the coffee came out in a french press.

ode to the atomic eggplant!

so there was this restaurant called the atomic eggplant. it had great veggie and vegan food. then they closed.
but i do remember this recipe and i may have changed it a bit.

sweet potato blackberry quesadilla

you will need.
whole wheat tortillas
sweet potatoes
blackberries cut into pieces
cheese if you want. when i used to make these with cheese i used sharp vermont chedder stuff.
dried ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, salt
earthbalance or butter or oil


boil or bake the sweet potato (yams work too)
when they are soft take them out of their skins and put in a bowl. mash with earthbalace....1 tablespoon or more. depending on the tater size.
add a pinch of dried ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, salt.
taste. adjust seasonings.
fire up the skillet! when it is hot...
put a whole wheat tortilla down, spread the sweet potato mash on half and drop a few blackberry chunks and cheese if that's what your into. fold over the tortilla and flip. get both sides brown and crispy. they are done at this point.
you should cut them up and eat them.
you could dip them in sour cream. i'll watch ya.

doing nothing

lazy as can be

my favorite mug

i make these really good cookies i can't eat.

They smell amazing. and look fucking awesome. and i have indeed tasted them. they are good.

 Lemon sugar cookies: this makes a lot of cookies. get ready for cookies. i hope you want cookies.

4 1/2 cups of white pastry flour or all purpose flour (you will need some extra to roll out the dough)
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 sticks of butter (unsalted....but if you use salted then cut down on the additional salt).
2 cups of sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 eggs
1 scant tsp of vanilla extract
1/8 tsp of nutmeg and cinnimon (big pinch)
dash of allspice
zest from 3 lemons

cream the butter and sugar in one bowl. sift dry ingredients {including the spices} together in another bowl. add eggs to the creamed butter and sugar. mix well. start to add flour one cup at a time to the butter sugar egg mix, also at the same time add the milk in bits with the vanilla, add zest, and then when all the flour and milk have been added and the cookie dough looks like cookie dough, cover and chill that dough ball. at least an hour.
grease some sheets and preheat oven to 375

when the dough is chilled cut the ball into two parts.
flour the work surface, and the rolling pin.
roll out the ball of dough (i would say about1/4''thick) and cut with cookie cutter of your choice. i generally use a 2'' circle. but go with what you have. put em on the sheet and bake one sheet at a time. 8-10min. keep an eye on these guys they get brown quick! ok so take them out of the oven when you start to see a browning happening around the bottom edge.
take cookies off the tray, let them cool on a rack and dust with confectioners sugar.
light and lemony!

rachel's cakes

i forget where we got this recipe.
nevertheless:

magical beet cakes:

shred 4 med-large beets
add rosemary, ginger, salt, browned garlic, marjoram
1/4cup flour, add more if you need too.
mix it on up.

put some earthbalance, or coconut oil, or grapeseed oil in the skillet and get hot.
put the mixture in the pan and fry those puppies.
beet cakes. beet cakes. beet cakes.

if you can have butter you should fry your cakes in that. rich and greasy. really good stuff.

if you don't know about this.....

one of my all time favorite things to eat is an egg that has been fried on top of a corn tortilla.
can't eat those eggs too much anymore but when i do, this is the way.

so try this.

put some coconut oil in the pan (enough to cover the bottom), get it nice and hot ya hear', put a corn tortilla in the frying pan and let it crisp on one side. flip and crack an egg right on that bitch! you may need to guide your little egg to the right place on the tortilla, you can also spread the white of the egg so that it covers the tortilla all nice like. add a shake of paprika, pinch of salt, and grind on the black pepper.
when done shake a little hot sauce on er'.
really the best egg to be had.

let me know what you think

more more!!!!!

this font is so much better.
time to get bitchy! 

what do i have here in my meddlesome cook book???!?!?!?

well i have this little guy.

Vegan corrrrrnnnnnn bread

preheat oven 350
you will need:

1 1/4 cup cornmeal
1 cup whole wheat or whole wheat pastry or white allpurpose flour. 
3 Tablespoons of maple syrup
dash of nutmeg
3 tsp or so of baking powder
1 cup of milk (hemp, almond, rice)
1/4 cup oil (grapeseed, walnut, or coconut)
salt-nice size pinch.
flax seed eggy thing = 2 tablespoons ground flax, mixed with 3 tablespoons warm water.


mix dry together
mix wet together
mix wet and dry together

grease a bread pan, dump contents in pan and bake away. keep an eye on that shit.
stick a toothpick in it to see when it is finished.

get yourself some soy free earthbalance. use it on your corn bread.
or if you can eat butter go get yourself some organic pasture butter or that kerry irish butter. 

love the one your with.

tiny tubers

sticky curry potatoes.

for this recipe i like to use the tiny tiny potatoes. they usually sell them in a mesh bag for too much $, anyway i think they come in pound bags and are called fingerling.  they are the best for this recipe.

And for spice magic i add:
cumin
currypowder or tumeric
nutmeg (smaller pinch)
cinnimon
paprika (other wise know as pappytap)
salt and pepper
crushed red pepper flakes (as hot as you like and as much as you like) (that sounds like a sex add)
maple syrup or agave or honey
sesame seeds
cut up chives
grapeseed oil
(if you happen to have some saffron put a tiny pinch in the mix).

do it:
put clean tiny tiny potatoes in a bowl. add 2-3 tablespoons of grapeseed oil or just eye it out.
then add healthy pinches of all the spices above. add 2 tablespoons of sesame seeds and 2-3 tablespoons of maple syrup.
stir! rubber spatulas work the best for this move.

taste the goo. you may need to adjust something.
pour the contents of the bowl into a baking pan.
bake covered in a 350 oven. flip them around once while baking.
when they are soft you can take the cover off and broil for a minute or two. or just take out of the oven.

it's 8 o clock

i have been trying to stay away from the computer today. but i am realizing that i can only bitch for so long. i am going on a trip in a week and will be at the mercy of other peoples computers. my trip will last onwards of almost 2 months. while i am bitchin' in other places i will try to bitch back bitchy. (that should be the name of a band)
i will be eating traveling food. which will probably consist of miso and corn tortillas. Two of my favorite things. But not too eventful or worth talking about. maybe i will post about all the shitty food i eat on the road.

my legs are getting hairier and my skirts are getting shorter

Today i ate like a picky kid. strawberries and toast, hummus and cucumber, chocolate.....oh yeah and the fucking kicker......a whole wheat tortilla with sunflower butter, jelly and rice crispies inside. Total kid food.



Wendy and I started a band called "fuck you". we sucked real bad and our lyrics were about nothing nice. we don't play to much together anymore.   all the more reason for a food anything goes blog. nice oh yeah hey.

salad for ya.

This was really good!
Ingredients:
            2 cloves of garlic sliced
           1/2 green peppy sliced
           1/2 red peppy sliced
           1/2 onion thin slivers
           carrot cut on the di-agg.
           a few kalamata olives
           pinch of oregano, parsley, thyme, savory, salt, pepper....you get where i'm going with this.
           pinch of paprika and cumin
           olive oil for pasta
           grapeseed oil for sauteing
           small pasta
           lemon
           cut up cucumber
           cut up lettuce leaves of your choice

First I got a pot-o-water on the boil. put in the pasta.
Then heated up the grapeseed oil in the skillet (med heat). I browned the garlic, added (good) salt, black pepper, paprika, and cumin. Let that do it's thing in the pan, you may have to add a tablespoon of water, then I added the onion. Let that do it's thing for 2 minutes. Added all the rest of everything.....flipped it around the pan for about 3 minutes.....i like to have crunchy veggies....
turned off the heat and squeezed lemon all over it. Meanwhile the pasta is finishing. Drain, and add some olive oil so the shit don't stick together. Now you take the lettuce you cut up and put it on the bottom of a bowl, then put on the pasta and top with raw cucumbers, and the veggies you saute'd. Crack a little black pepper on top and squeeze some more lemon.
Enjoy!

******ok i made this salad twice and the second time i added a can of tuna, sliced avacado, cilantro, and made some honeymustard.**************************

watermelon juice

Angel drink of the year!
Soooooooooooo goooood.
and really really good for you. 



Here is how I make it. 

First cut up melon and scoop out all the good stuff.
Put in blender.
blend.
strain into a larger pot.
pour.
admire the color you are about to drink.


drink.

you could get a second date with this recipe.

ok so those pastries from the gluten free bakery bellow.....

Were fucking awesome!
holy shit cupcakes and magical bar of wonder!
it was all gluten free and dairy free.  There is hope for vegan pastries yet! We have all tried to make good vegan pastries....but lets face it.....most people suck at it.

I will visit them again.

could this be true?

http://www.sweetfreedombakery.com/index.html

I am going to check this shit out and see.
gluten free, vegan, and uses coconut oil in the goods.

she sure is cute....but good for nothing

                          what the fuck cat. catch the god damn mice!!!!!! and while your at it what
                                   about the fucking flys. your last owners said you caught stuff, or did they lie to us cat? and get rid of you cause you are so damn lazy.

now for what you dip the bread in

I like to dip my slices in this awesomeness.

3 tablespoons organic olive oil (it is worth it)
1 tsp of tahini (or more if you like)
pinch salt (good salt)
pinch of cumin
freshly cracked black pepper and red pepper flakes, a dash of both will do ya.
oregano
crushed motherfucking organic garlic! 1/2 clove
dill (optional)
freshly squeezed lemon juice a must!!!!! i go for half a lemon.

stir this all up and make a paste
adjust spices
dip ye'ole slices.

also good as a dressing. 

brunch this week

sprouted bread, peppered bacon, goat and sheep feta, honey crisp apple, and kalamata olives!

o pierogies.

wish i had some ice cream

figure i should tell you all bout us

We are not vegan, but we love to cook vegan dishes, and for the most part that is what you will see.
Most of the things we are preparing these days are meat/fish (if we can afford), veggies, and vegan (soy free) goodies.
And of course all dishes you can take the meat out, and add your veggie substitutions.

There will be goat/sheep cheese. Lots of coconut.oilandmilkandflakesandoil...and now they have come out with a earthbalance that is soy free. fuck yeah!!!!
and fuck yeah to organic olive oil.
oh yeah we love bacon. we save the fat.
what else, what else......
some of the recipes we will post are from the old fat ass days....they are extremely ridden with eggs, cow milk, and butter.
for the most part they will come in in dribbs and drabbs.


we love to curse and tell bad jokes.

oh yeah and lastly we have our own vocabulary. we will get you up to snuff with this.

eat!

wendy pies

nice pies bitch

well maybe i will post this one.

tonight....being 9ish......popcorn time:

put coconut oil in the bottom of a large soup pot. about 2 tablespoons or more.
cover the bottom of the pot with popcorn kernels. Cover and put on high heat....just until popping starts. Then lower the heat to medium/highish, pick up pot and swirl around the kernels....get those kernels movin'! Return to heat and allow popping to occur.
Once you hear the popping slow down check the goods. Be sure not to burn. Pewww.
When done drizzle with olive oil, salt (good salt. gray, pink)
or butter and salt- for a bigger butt.
or earthbalance and salt-  for a vegan butter butt.  
simple and soooooo freakin' good.

You could also do this trick:
I like to dump all the popcorn in a big ol' paper bag and drizzle and spice in it....and shake it about. It does a great job.

Coconut oil is the key to this one. 
                                

cup cakes for my cupcake

here goes nothing

Hi All.
This is Bitchin' in the Kitchen!
A blog about food and stupid shit.